Monday, February 28, 2011

Dio's public service announcement no. 1: don't force an SL content maker to slap you silly

Dear Reader:

The following is a public service announcement, brought to you by the Dio Kuhr Department of Useful Things and Stuff You Should Know.

Please study the image below:

Have you studied the illustration?


Does anyone in the illustration remind you of YOU?

If so, then please continue reading.

I have been asked by content makers in Second Life to convey this useful bit of knowledge:

If you are someone who does roleplaying in Second Life -- oh, say, someone like The Royal Personage of Great Self-appointed Hoohah-ness and Mighty Bling, or maybe the evil Herr Oberslchonger von Grossestuckuppenderarsche -- when you contact a vendor or content-maker to discuss a customer service issue, do not...repeat, DO NOT try to stay "in character" while doing so.

What will happen is that the vendor or content maker will get very, very irritated with you (see above illustration, again). They may not actually slap you, but they will want to do so very, very much. And that which we do in our hearts, we have done in reality, yes?

Furthermore, (and this is just a hunch), you may also find that you get better customer service if you DO NOT try to stay in character while seeking to sort out whatever the problem is with whatever you bought from them.

Yes, yes...we know you are a person of Power and Influence within a certain make-believe context. Yet there obviously are vendors and content makers who don't give a rat's left testicle that you are a person of Power and Influence within that certain make-believe context.

Does this lead you to conclude that said vendors and content makers are mean people?

Well, yes...more than likely, they are. But many of them got mean because of having to deal with mud-eating knuckledraggers like you.

So it all kind of evens out, doesn't it?

Look...just do us all a big favor and simply talk to the vendor like a normal person when you want to let them know that the screaming snake-hair multi-color fatpack you bought from them didn't get delivered.


Thanks for listening...

...and have a nice fucking day.

- Dio



  1. Vot, I zhould nut schpeak in der Jaeger langvich? Thiz iz hannoying? Votever could dyou mean?

    I look forward to future public service announcements!

  2. Hey Rhia,

    I didn't know you swung that way. As they say, "vunce dyou'f gun Green, dere's no hinbetween!"

    Seriously though, being a Jaegermonster is, of course, another situation's not playing a role, it's a way of life. I recommend that Jaegers simply deal only with content makers who are other Jaegermonsters. Trust me. Things will work out much better.

  3. Her Grace the Duchess of Caer Firnas agrees with this post.
    I am so, so terrible at roleplay this is never an issue. Most of the people I know don't take this stuff that seriously. And honestly, I can feel bad for the poor asshat whose offline life is such that they need to RP "someone important" all the time. I usually just mutter "peaked at 16" under my breath :)
    I will say that I do deal with a number of people whose SL characters are actually characters, but since they remain consistent (and reasonable) I have no issues with them either, whether Jaeger, urchin or Baron.
    Honestly the ones I feel the need to slap silly? Are the ones who RP submissives outside their RP lands and dungeons. No, I am not going to deal with someone who does not appear to own a personal pronoun or a pair of knickers. Sorry. And no, I am not going to take squat up with your owner/mistress/master/budgie - I will talk to you and you alone. And if you are causing a problem it will be you being ARed and hitting the sim boundary at speed. And when you finally break character to private IM me and call me filthy names....yeah, AR, ban and mute for YOU.

  4. My dear Duchess Foggy,

    Yeah, I will admit that like all rules, there are exceptions. Some folks do have a seamless character, that arguably is an extension of the typist, but which still can be be used to effectively get a point across. It's about being able to communicate productively, and some of it may come down to that people who don't communicate well or who act like a rectal-chapeau in character, probably have the same issues OOC as well.

    Similarly, someone whose character is polite and can put a complete sentence together without acting like a major-league douche, can probably get away with some OOC communications in character, because the typist is actually polite and reasonable and that comes through in the fictional persona as well.

    On the other hand, funny you mention the issue of people such as subs contacting a vendor, rental agent or service provider on behalf of their owner, Ol' Massa', a deity, or the fuckin' voices in their head. The content creator who asked me to post this PSA actually specifically mentioned the irritation and inconvenience that comes with dealing with folks in those contexts.

    It's one thing to have these arrangements part of your rp or social interaction. I know and rp with plenty of folks who go in these directions in their play. Hey, it's all about experimentation on the grid and trying out various things, and I'm all for that personal right to choose one's path.

    But the folks I know don't take it to the point of idiocy--you can IM or talk OOC to them or meet in a bar someplace, and they're not still totally in character, and you can actually have a reasonable, productive convo.

    I'm all for folks marching to a different drummer, or no goddam drummer at all--Providence knows I do a good bit of that myself a lot of the time--but there is no need to be a simpering Wally while you're doing it.

  5. From my own SL "notebook of wacky"

    Miss subjira thing: Please do beg you pardon, but, do you do custom work?

    Me, the rube: Yes

    Miss Subjirathing: [proceeds to go on for several screens about what "master" beseachethestesque of me]

    Me :Here, let me send you my standard questionnaire, and I will look of the specs of your request

    Miss Subjirathing: But this girl cannot read

    Me: Then we clearly aren't having this conversation.

    Miss Subjirathing: F@#% You!

  6. Hey Vivito,
    thanks for stopping by. Yeah, that's a classic.

    The wonderful thing here is that somehow you managed to facilitate the poor little thing once again finding a backbone.

    I'd say that was a real awesome public service you performed there. Go have yourself a drink and relax. You deserve it, hon!