Monday, March 28, 2011

Name Dio's ship winner!

Since he won the contest, I let Aldo take a turn at the steering oars. It didn't end well.

Well, I waited to get some more entries, then I got kinda busy with other crap (like the public service announcements) and finally I just decided it was time to pick something.

So the winner is "Aanu"--ancient Egyptian for "beauty" or "that which attracts your own soul."

My thanks go to my old friend Aldo for the suggestion. In fact, I want to thank everyone who sent a suggestion. There were some fine ones.

Aldo gets a trade blanket and some cigars. Any of the rest of you who entered, come look me up in-world and I will be happy to take you sailing in Aanu (provided of course that SL is being kind to sailors). And what the hell, I'll probably give you some cigars and blanket too, if you want.

Saturday, March 19, 2011

Dio's public service announcement number 2: Bloggers, please restrict your writing to stuff you actually know about or understand

Do you have a blog?

You do?


Please look at the picture below.

Here's what we want you to try to do:

Imagine that you are the typist in the above image. Think about the pictured typist. Imagine that this typist is a you. Now, think about what this typist knows....think about what this typist understands...what kinds of experiences the typist has to draw on...

Yes, this particular typist probably understands things like what can be eaten in a rain forest, what do live ants taste like, how far can poo be flung (taking into consideration pertinent factors such as fiber in the diet and wind direction and velocity), and how one can tell if a female of the species is in estrus (and what to do about it if she is).

You may also reasonably conclude as a corollary that this typist probably does not know much about things such as the neo-industrial economy, has read relatively little Russian literature in the original language, and does not have any extensive or particularly sophisticated understanding of the complex nature of the customer base in SL and the diverse ways that this customer base adapts to and utilizes the platform in continually evolving ways.

OK, so let us ask you a theoretical question, now that you have imagined yourself in the mind of the typist in the illustration, and pondered what this individual probably knows or does not know.

Here's your question...ready?

Does it make sense for this particular typist to try to write blog posts about subjects such as the neo-industrial economy, Russian literature in the original language, or the complex nature of the customer base in SL and the diverse ways that the customer base adapts to and utilizes the platform in continually evolving ways?

If you answered a definitive "no" to that question, then you are doing just jim-fucking-dandy and can go about your bloggy business.

On the other hand, if you answered "yes," or perhaps you aren't quite sure, we have a second question for you. But first allow us to add another set of considerations into our speculative parameters: let's say that this particular typist had left the rain forest that it started out in, went to another rain forest that was eventually cut down to be made into wobbly Swedish pre-fab furniture, and then returned to its original habitat without doing much to really grasp how that habitat had evolved, except talking mostly to forest rangers who had been fired rather than the majority of the animals who actually made the rain forest their home.

Righto then, have you thought that all through?


Keeping all that in mind, please now answer the final question:

Should this typist be blogging about anything other than how to find green bananas, his mom's live ant recipes, and/or specifics on the lag time between the point where females initially display signs of estrus and the point at which they actually are ready to mate?

Have you answered the question?


Are you dying to know the significance of how you answered the question?

Well, bucko, we're going to tell you whether you want to know or not.

If you answered "no," then you're doing pretty good. You pass. Please continue contributing stuff on the internet.

If you answered "yes," however, then you are a slackjawed wally with week-old rice pudding for brains. You have failed and should not be allowed to reproduce, drive a car, vote, or blog. If you have a blog, it has now passed into irrelevance or pointlessness, and you should go ahead and pull the plug and get a real job. Or you could keep doing it until it has actually gotten so far off the mark that it qualifies as quaint, or some people may even think that you are being ironic.

Oh, wait...that's OUR job.

Have a nice fucking day.