tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2265659668411443893.post2144527618769030653..comments2023-11-02T02:20:42.056-07:00Comments on The Ephemeral Frontier: A Deadwood Story -- consequences, part 1Diohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14266713613721430111noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2265659668411443893.post-65803610454343861192009-09-25T12:52:30.035-07:002009-09-25T12:52:30.035-07:00hey Rhia,
thanks for reading and commenting as alw...hey Rhia,<br />thanks for reading and commenting as always. I enjoy heearing your perspective on on this piffle I'm cranking out. <br /><br />Yeah, that unintended consequences thing can be a bitch, and is certainly one that our ploticial leaders should keep in mind, especially these days. <br /><br />In this case, with the the mayor having issued a decree trying to force the two mine companies to sit down and talk, he probably hadn't expected that a consequence would be the death of one of the parties involved...<br /><br />...or did he?<br /><br />dun dun duuuunnn (ominous music)Diohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14266713613721430111noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2265659668411443893.post-50753610452592532972009-09-25T10:01:46.528-07:002009-09-25T10:01:46.528-07:00I am doing the "I am unworthy" wave (mor...I am doing the "I am unworthy" wave (more or less) as I type this - a cracker of a story AND a cliffhanger to boot! (Though I might hazard a guess that Mr. Antfarm does not have to worry overly about Miz Dio joining the pantheon of late, great characters. :) )<br /><br />I love the theme, too: one of the things I harp on in RL is the Law of Unintended Consequences. One may think certain actions create specific incentives for people to act a particular way, but hard experience has shown us that things don't always work out according to the plan.Rhianon Jamesonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13627163137265856251noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2265659668411443893.post-17674862675639060712009-09-24T09:43:45.716-07:002009-09-24T09:43:45.716-07:00Thanks HB, it's nice to know someone cares.
...Thanks HB, it's nice to know someone cares. <br /><br />I do feel bad about the long exposition at the front end though--if this was a novel, I would have spread that out through a chapter or two and you could have learned it bit by bit. But this was a story that I built out of a raw rp transcript so it's really just in its first incarnation. I think when I re-write this someday, I do that, with spreading the history lesson over several chapters, or if this remains a short story, work that exposition into a conversation between Dio and somebody so it feels more like part of the story, sort of the way a good science fiction story writer has to do all the exposition to explain the situation in a future time and place with some plot stratagem like "a new scientist is assigned to the mutant kumquat research station on the remote planet Wherethefugarewe III, and the head scientist welcomes the newcomer and gives them the background on the locale and the situation, right before they stumble across the headless body of yet another junior-grade toilet-tech."<br /><br />All I'm saying is, I know that big hunk of exposition could have been done more elegantly, and I intend to work on that.<br /><br />Oh and the bit about Estwee wasn't just a plot device to explain her absence, out of harms way, it's actually the way her typist has crafted that character. It's very different and rather cool how she plays it.<br /><br />I figure the next installment will be this weekend.Diohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14266713613721430111noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2265659668411443893.post-64782643121756766632009-09-24T01:50:23.482-07:002009-09-24T01:50:23.482-07:00HOLY CRAP! Where do I start?
First off, a lovely ...HOLY CRAP! Where do I start?<br /><br />First off, a lovely introduction there to not only set the tone but also explain some complex history. Oh! and a great way of explaining the cafe owner's absense - I know just the kind of empty click-menu-click cafe you mean.<br /><br />But the meat & tatters of the story was excellent! I loved the link to your past, although I reckon quick acceptance of Al due to your loyalty to John would have gotten you into trouble had his head not be ventilated a few seconds later.<br /><br />Now all I have to worry about is if Dio is dead! Gah! Darien, HBA & now Dio - I can't take much more worry!HeadBurro Antfarmhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10855762117761362578noreply@blogger.com